Rubber Wife: Living with a Sex Doll

In February 2018, Steven Crowford, 25, from Scotland decided to open a brothel with only one sex worker — a silicone doll. He wanted to charge clients £60 per hour, but the brothel closed several days after it opened, and the owner deleted all of his contacts from the website.

Another man from Britain, Brian Leach, was sentenced to nine months in prison for ordering a sex doll from China that reminded the customs officers of a doll of a child with children’s sex organs. Leach was accused of intending to perform indecent acts with a child-like doll. To be fair, during the house search, police also discovered that he possessed child pornography.

A sex doll costs between 1 and 10 thousand dollars; the more it looks like a human, the more expensive are the materials that it is made of, the more you would need to pay for it. Quality sex dolls are made of macromolecular medical silicone based on platinum. Cheaper ones are made of silicone that wears faster than platinum-based silicone, which means that stains, blotches, and other defects will show. At the same time, a doll that costs two thousand looks almost like a doll that costs ten thousand.

The more expensive the doll, the sturdier its joints, which allows it to take and maintain any poses. 70% of dolls are produced in China. They are handmade, and the manufacturers claim that their vagina is sometimes even ‘better’ than the vagina of a real woman.

Several years ago, photographer Sandra Hoyn watched an awful, in her opinion, documentary about sex dolls. She started to dig deeper, and on an online forum she met Dirk, a man for whom a sex doll almost became a wife. Dirk even gave her a name — Jenny. They almost never leave home, but every night they watch TV, talk, have dinner, and have sex.

Sandra decided to find out what it was like to live with a silicone woman.

— At first, I found a shop selling silicone dolls in Germany. Then, I met Dirk and his silicone doll Jenny on an Internet forum and visited them at their home. I was afraid Dirk would say he didn’t want his photograph taken. Then I was even afraid of Jenny that she would say to Dirk that she didn’t want her picture taken either.

Dirk decided to buy Jenny because he was suffering from a breakdown and feeling extremely lonely. A sex doll for €6,000 is his source of comfort, his therapist, his constant companion.

In the beginning they had sex a lot , as it is usual in any relationship, when you are newly in love. Now this is no longer so important for them. The doll had become a true partner, not just a sex toy for him.

Dirk had relationships before. He is not a person who hates women and has a doll for this reason. He has the doll, because had a breakdown, was lonely, and not able to have a ‘normal’ relationship. Dirk told me he loves Jenny. He told me maybe later he is again ready for a relationship with a real woman, but not now.

I was not allowed to show his face. Dirk has had bad experiences with the media. At first he was careful. After he realized that I do not condemn him as a freak, he was open and honest. His desire was that the subject should gain more publicity, that it should become a little more normal.

Dirk told me that at this moment he wants no other woman. He’s happy now. They have a fixed daily schedule. Every evening at 6 pm they are sitting on the sofa watching television. In the afternoon they have a nap. Jenny sitting on the sofa in the living room while Dirk hangs up her laundry or next to him in the office room when Dirk is working on the computer. Every Sunday they take a bath and after he powders her silicone skin to keep it soft.

I wanted to show through the everyday life of Dirk and Jenny that there are people who are happy, even though they may have a way of living that seems strange to most of us. Dirk is working from his computer at home. Most of his friends and family don’t know about him and Jenny. Just some friends who also live together with dolls do.

Dirk walked through the apartment, giggling and replying to her all the time. I could not understand. I was unsure because only Dirk can communicate with her soul, not me. I was afraid of exposing them with my pictures. The biggest challenge was to take photos of Dirk and Jenny on an equal level, not to see the doll just as a doll, but to recognize what the man sees and loves in her. Because I was not allowed to show Dirk’s face, I had to be careful that Jenny didn’t appear too superficial too often in the series.

It surprised me how easily I entered his world. And it surprised me how fast I accepted Jenny as his partner. One day in the afternoon as Dirk brought Jenny to bed because she needed a nap, I went through the living room on tiptoe and whispered to Dirk, afraid to wake her up. But on the other side it was also a little frustrating not being able to speak directly to Jenny or hear what was being said.

I didn’t want them to pose for me, so I waited for what happened between napping schedules and TV times. One day Jenny’s skin tore and the doll was put to bed for a full 24 hours while the repair adhesive took hold. Dirk only bathes Jenny on Sunday, so I had to wait till the end of the week to photograph them in the bathroom.

I never felt any pity toward, or sadness or judgment about, Dirk’s life. Sometimes I find myself defending Dirk. People just don’t understand. Even me, I don’t understand, but I accept it.